Darling

Ananga's Notes on Darling

What can I say? 

I love Darling. 

When first I heard the vocal I had no idea what to do with it. I would listen to it again and again utterly perplexed. I remember taking the vocal track to Pia and saying listen to this – it’s amazing, but I have not a clue what to do with it! A couple of days later she called me and said – Darling needs a nice gentle chord progression with some pad sounds. Oh yes, said I, went and set up the studio and started playing. Musically it really is a very simple track.

Later we added Pia’s vocals, as usual, I just plugged in the microphone, set to record and sat back and waited to hear the track transformed and feel personally delighted. And later I played my Udu African water pot drum live throughout the track and sprinkled some delay and reverb effects over it.

Darling was one of the first HypnoDreams Pia ever heard and it amuses me to recall how since she has “prescribed” it to various has wounded souls on her travels.

Recently when touring America she was listening to an outpouring of anguish form a friend who had been wronged some time ago. After they had been talking for some time she handed him her walkman and said “just lie down and listen to this and you’ll feel much better” - and he did.

Silvia's Notes On Darling

And now for something completely different!

I wrote Darling for a very specific young man - or should I say, I wrote it to him.

I said all the things I wanted him to know and I didn't hold back, didn't consider to be "holistic" or "encouraging" or "motivational" - just truthful for once.

Just truthful for once.

No bullshit. No false compliments. Nothing but my own true heartfelt words and thoughts about him, for him, and that was all.

If people are used to standard hypnotic inductions and/or standard personal development speeches, they tend to really have their mouths drop open when they hear this track.

But there are those parts within us who may well need to hear something like this once in a while - spoken out hard, up front, entirely honestly in all ways.

I certainly do that I get some very strange sensations when I listen to Darling, and I know quite a few people to whom this track is absolutely their favourite on this album. 

It is not for everyone indeed but ... well, it is here and it is what it is.

I love my Darling :-)

Darling

My love, my only one.

Please listen to me

tonight.

I am only asking

for a few moments

of your time

to spend with me

and in my voice

and there is no need

for you

to stop and think

as what might be

my purposes

as what I might

desire, what might

be my gain.

This is from me

for you.

Just for you, my darling.

Close your eyes

it’s alright, just let your

lids fall and be heavy;

let your lashes rest

and let your face relax

beneath my fingertips.

Breathe deeply, freely

as I brush my hand

across your cheek,

your jaw, your lips

and gently, lovingly

tell you what I see in you.

You know,

I sometimes think

you really do not understand

quite who you are

or what you are,

or what you are to me.  

You know,

I sometimes wonder

how it is that you so fail

to see your own endeavour,

strength of purpose

and tenacity of will

and how you count

your failures and your

blemishes just like a

miser counts his golden coins

and brings them out

in darkest night

to brush them to a brightwhite shine

and sits with them

in greedy silence

and with beating heart.

I sometimes wonder

how you use your pain

in such inventive ways

to keep your mind

of other such imaginary pains

just like a desperate man

might cut his arms

so that he doesn’t need

to feel the deeper, darker pain

beyond.

Here you are, lying in front of me.  

You are pretending to be weak,

and powerless again. 

And then you wail and whine 

and beat your breast

and look for sympathy from me

and others all around you

and even from yourself

but in the end, I think we know

the truth too well

to let you get away with it.

I put it to you that

you well know who you are.

I put it to you

you well know deep inside

and you’re afraid

to let it out for if you did

oh my, what would become

of all these comfortable

neat illusions and the walking sticks

you use to slow your progress to

a tottering stumble?

Of course, they would just fall away.

Of course, they would just

crash and burn beneath the fury

of your will, set free to rule and reign

and do it’s bidding, do it’s wanting

power untamed and uncontrolled –

ah, that would be too much, by far!

What would you do?

Would you take the stars from the sky

the sun from the heavens and turn

the land to screaming dark and suffering

that must eclipse in silence?

Would you repay them all,

an endless line of torturers and

narrow-minded evil doers who

have made your life a hell

of loneliness and suffering?

Would your rage like

blinding firestorm

sweep across the fertile lands

and leave but utter devastation

in its wake?

For sure, that could be feared.

I see that within you, barely kept

at bay, barely hidden and barely

disabled with low self esteem – ah!

what a laugh that is!

I will now begin to trace the outlines

of your eyes, your brow and cheekbones

with my outstretched finger tip,

and as I do I will untangle

all these false contortions

in your head, and I may soothe

a suffering or two, might banish

a tiny nasty invocation,

close the gap between a broken

strand or two of understanding

or whatever else it is

you need from this so that

you can begin

to know how all

and everything is now

returning to its rightful place

and taking up its rightful time

and space of mind.

Look across your life

why don’t you?

What do you see?

Oh, but if you want

you can spend a whole

eternity in tying up in knots

a yesterday to a tomorrow

a yesteryear to now

and leave yourself

in pieces

in the process

of clinging to a pain

that once was real and true

and now is nothing but a shadow.

You know, it happened,

don’t you know.

You know, it’s true.

It really did.

It happened to you,

all of it, and there is no

denying it.

You know, you made it here

you really did. 

You’re here

today, with me, and there

is no denying it.  

It changed you, sure, but

don’t you know

the finest swords are honed

in fire and in ice, and all

their strength does never

yet appear until the time

of test is here, the time

of challenge and of rising

to the challenge.

A man who knows no fear

can never be a hero.

A man who knows not war

cannot make a decision

as to peace, nor will he ever

know the merits as you do.

You have your pride

my darling but the strange thing is

you pride yourself on all the wrong

remembrances and thus

you lie here now before me,

feeling pain that could have

should have healed

so many turns of star and moon

ago and would have healed

if you would let it

do so now.

But either way.

A one without a pain

would be a stranger to this realm.

A such a one could not be here,

could not be born, or even live

for more than just a second on

beyond the moment of conception

when the undefining one

breaks into two, then four, and tears

with growth a hundred million times

or more, and then a hundred million times

beyond again, again and yet again.

All is as it is.

That is the way it is.

We may bemoan it, wail out loud,

and tear our hair and stomp our feet

and shout to someone, up above

about the terrible injustice of it all

and yet to truly know 

is that

it is the way it is.

So sleep now, darling.

You are the way you are.

I would perhaps that you

could fly or read my mind,

or shower me with diamonds,

or that you might have something

I once heard about another

having once displayed;

but that is truly

no concern, 

nor is it true

for if you did

you would not be 

you

and you would not be

nor ever could you be

my darling.